FORGIVENESS: The Power & Freedom to Let Go

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You may have times when you’ve been hurt or feel angry toward someone close to you. They may have said something that devastated you or even behaved in such a way that triggered feelings of frustration and anger. And yet, you still hope to include them in your life.

The wisest thing to do is to forgive whenever you have these experiences. When you choose to forgive someone, you dismiss the power of the offense or the offender.

But forgiving often proves to be a tremendous challenge, especially when someone fails to meet your expectations, lets you down, fails to keep a promise or treats you unjustly.

Why is it in your best interest to forgive?

Refusing to forgive harms YOU more than the individual you’re upset with.There’s an old saying about poison damaging the vessel in which it’s found and that saying applies here.You’re not hurting the individual you refuse to forgive nearly as much as you’re hurting yourself.

Forgiving allows you to release the pain. Whenever you say, “I forgive you” to someone, you’re instantly freed from power the offense holds over you and close the door for satan to continually use the offense against you. Carrying excess emotional baggage is not healthy and should be avoided when at all possible. However, sometimes encouraging the restoration of a relationship is not wise at all, such as when the offense may be adultery, rape, or assault. Scripture allows us to move out of harm’s way until lasting changes on the offender’s part takes place. That may not happen.

         “Bad company corrupts good character” – 1 Corinthians 15:33

Most grudges become bigger than we are. They just seem to take over your entire existence. You may convince yourself, “I will push this individual into a little box in my mind and not think about them,” yet, you’ll soon find that to be impossible. Others may bring up the individual’s name or invite them to a event that you’ll be attending. Then, you’re faced with the decision of whether to avoid the individual by cancelling your plans. Grudges grow. And the more you hold on to them, the more time and emotional energy it takes to keep them going.

You can decide to be the “bigger” person. You can tell yourself that you’ll forgive because it’s the “right” thing to do whether they accept the forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is more for the one doing the forgiving rather than for the one being forgiven.  Forgiveness is one-way. Reconciliation is two-way.  When you live by a set of morals and values, that little voice inside may insist that you be the one to forgive. Listen to it.

You can decide to be the “bigger” person. You can tell yourself that you’ll forgive because it’s the “right” thing to do whether they accept the forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is more for the one doing the forgiving rather than for the one being forgiven.  Forgiveness is one-way. Reconciliation is two-way.  When you live by a set of morals and values, that little voice inside may insist that you be the one to forgive. Listen to it.

Forgiveness bears many fruits. Although you may be unaware, the friend you forgive may realize the true error of their ways and decide to try harder to live a more caring existence. Or they may learn something about forgiving others and apply it in their life.
 

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”- Galatians 5:22-23

When you forgive, you’ll have lower blood pressure. It’s a medically proven fact.

Vengeance and resentment flourish in those who refuse to forgive. Would you choose to feel hurt, angry, and resentful or peaceful and happy? A continual refusal to forgive keeps one emotionally stuck and allows the wound to grow deeper and deeper hiding a hardened heart.

Take time to consider your own actions and words during the unsavory event. If you’re struggling to forgive, go over the entire incident in your mind. What did you say? How did you react? How did you end the exchange?

After you gain as clear an understanding as possible about what happened, choose to forgive.

     “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”

Proverbs 15:1

When you decide to live a more conscious existence, you may have more room to forgive those who upset you. Realizing that forgiveness is in your best interest andyou can move forward and re-discover… the power of forgiveness is within you.

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Christian Counseling & Life Coaching
Tiqvah Counseling, Coaching & Education – Christian Counseling, Life Coaching and Academic Institution
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Christian counseling is an effective method of employing positive healing and growth from both past and present life circumstances so that you are able to fully move forward with an inside out, effective change. Use of scripture and prayer in the counseling process, along with application of psychol...
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Tiqvah Counseling, Coaching & Education – Christian Counseling, Life Coaching and Academic Institution
www.tiqvahcce.com
Christian counseling is an effective method of employing positive healing and growth from both past and present life circumstances.  Many individuals, couples, families and groups find the christian counseling process involves both a biblical perspective and a psychological perspective that are wove...
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